Be an egg, not a potato

PLUS: 5 ways to quickly de-escalate an argument

November 26, 2024

For the next 5 minutes, let’s elevate your career.

In today’s email:

  • Be an egg, not a potato

  • 5 ways to quickly de-escalate an argument

  • Ask colleagues for their best productivity hacks

  • Eat lunch with a friend

  • Jennifer Doudna as career coach

ON YOUR CAREER

Be an egg, not a potato

An egg solidifies in boiling water while a potato softens and disintegrates.

There are many times when the heat is on at work. The timelines and responses of others are outside our control, but we can decide how we want to react. We can choose to model tenacity and regard pressure as an opportunity. Colleagues and clients respect our capability to hold it together and keep going. We can choose to be an egg, not a potato.

Pressure is a privilege. Usually, if you have tremendous pressure, it’s because an opportunity comes along.

— Billie Jean King
COMMUNICATION

5 ways to quickly de-escalate an argument

Debate is essential in the workplace. Debates that escalate to arguments where we are flooded by negative emotions are counter-productive. We can experience a flight or fight response where we lose access to our best reasoning. The willingness and ability to de-escalate arguments is a sign of our emotional intelligence. Here are 5 techniques to quickly de-escalate an argument:

1. Treat ourselves less seriously

This one is listed first because I needed to do this much more when I was younger! We can puff-up in self-importance and care too much about winning the argument. Ego is the enemy. Put ourselves on mute, have a sip of water, and continue to discuss with a humbler energy.

2. Accept bids from the others

Others can seek to de-escalate. Their bid could be an attempt at humor or a reminder of a more positive history between you. The bid may involve them being vulnerable. Treat their bid as a generous invitation and reciprocate with friendlier communication.

3. Defer the argument

You might say, ‘we both care a lot about this topic. And our conversation has got heated. Why don’t we take a break and re-convene at ________’ The break could be 30 minutes to take a walk. It could be a week. Schedule a time to reconvene: you want to try resolution.

4. Debate from their perspective

Suggest that you both argue in the alternative — now advocating the opposite position. Debating from their perspective increases mutual empathy. You also clarify subtleties which makes it easier to reach and sustain agreement.

5. Summarize what you agree upon as you debate

It’s worth summarizing what’s agreed as you go. This builds goodwill and momentum. This also narrows the debate to the zone of contention - saving time by focusing on unresolved points. If someone reverts to what has been agreed, it may be that they seek additional confirmation.

PRODUCTIVITY

Ask colleagues for their best productivity hacks

This afternoon, I asked colleagues for a productivity hack that has made a big difference to them in the past year. These were some of the shared hacks:

✅ Use 2 large monitors to reduce time toggling between software

✅ Listen to audiobooks and podcasts at 1.5x speed

✅ Use a digital kitchen timer and sprint with tasks

✅ Say ‘no’ more often if requests are outside core work

Your colleagues will also have useful productivity hacks. Some of these hacks will have additional power because they are tailored to your business and job.

Please email us a productivity hack that has made a big difference to you.

1 MINUTE TO HAPPINESS

Eat lunch with a friend

Research from Oxford University showed people feel happier with their lives when they often eat with others.

Are there any workdays in the next week when you will have lunch with a friend? Treat it as an opportunity to connect. And maybe to forget about work.

So long as you have food in your mouth you have solved all questions for the time being.

— Franz Kafka
GET SMARTER

Jennifer Doudna as career coach

Jennifer Doudna (1964 -) is a biochemist, inventor, and entrepreneur. In her youth, she heard ‘women don’t go into science’ which increased her resolve to be a scientist. Doudna completed her PhD at Harvard Medical School and is a Professor of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology at UC Berkeley. She won the 2020 Nobel Prize in Chemistry with Emmanuelle Charpentier for co-inventing the CRISPR-Cas9 technology. This gene-editing tool makes it possible to repair defective DNA. CRISPR may be applied to disorders in the embryo, treating infectious diseases like HIV, and developing treatments for cancer. Doudna has co-founded several biotech companies that leverage CRISPR technology. More of Doudna’s wisdom:

The more we know, the more we realize there is to know.

One of the problems in the biotech world is the lack of women in leadership roles, and I'd like to see that change by walking the walk.

The impression sometimes created among the public is that scientists are working away in their labs, and maybe they're not always thinking about the implications of their work. But we are.